The wild open pupils

MY 3rd week back to HK. Am at the church with mom now. I am pretty sure I will never be a Christian. But if she is happy I go, I would surely go. I want to spend more time with her. She seems peaceful just now. Praying and singing. We then start shaking hands and giving hugs to all brothers and sisters that I didn’t even know I ever had, there were so many.

“let’s do lunch in Jockey club” I said while we stepping out of the church. Her phone rings and suddenly these non-stops yelling broke into our peace that we’ve built for the past 2 hours. She is now yelling at her mobile, at her maid, to be exact. I am feeling terrible. There is really no need to get so angry. I am trying to calm her down. Then she said,”I need to scold her as she is just lazy and stupid”. Even if so, what can you do right? Smacking, Yelling doesn’t mean she will get smarter will she? If such magic exists, I wish I could be yelled at all the time. Just yell at me every split second, so I will be less dumb. It’s easier to do charts, I love charts. (my chart on my notebook)

Told my mom the theory of this chart, as I wish she doesn’t get so emotionally disturbed, initiating hormone imbalance or being killed. But she turns her head saying, “if you don’t yell at her, she won’t learn, and you, you, never understand how difficult it is!” All of a sudden, I saved my maid’s ass and turned my ass into her new target. She starts yelling at me with her pupils wild open. I remember when I was very little, mom’s temper wasn’t especially tempted already. When she yelled at me, which happens quite frequently, I got addicted starring into her pupils. There were so wild, so open. An untamed energy of eternal fire. They are pretty sexy.